The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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