so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
