After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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