I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
