no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
