so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
