i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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