i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
