its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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