one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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