I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Randomize
