she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
