My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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