Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
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