Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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