Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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