New invention idea: vibrating tampons
im about as happy as oj after his trial
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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