Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
