Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
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