I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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