He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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