Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize