so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
