I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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