Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
people are starting to question the shark bite story
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
