Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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