he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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