It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
