This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize