she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
