We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
