I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Randomize
