And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
