Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize