you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
