she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
