Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
MIDGETS
????
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
