so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
not ubering you a puppy
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize
