she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
