if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
