Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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