wat bout pragnant strippers??
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
