I hate your face
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
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