guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
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