He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Randomize
