I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
