Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Randomize
