"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Randomize
