I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
PANTIES FOUND
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