So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
