Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
