OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
