he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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