Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
