I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
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