He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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