Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I'm passing your future prison.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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