Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
