Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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