Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
