id be glad to
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize