i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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