Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
