is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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